50 Ways To Say Goodbye
by Jay.Rawr
Summary: Inspired by Train's song. Kiba always get the ladies. And he always was the first to break up with said ladies. So when he ends up being the one dumped, he quickly scrambles up the worst reason for the breakup. One-shot.


**_At some parts I might've replaced one word in the lyrics so the story could make sense. Hope it won't bother in any shape or form. ENJOY 3 Oh and the _**_italics __**are the song lyrics but since usually italics are for thoughts, there's some parts where the thoughts are in italics so in those thoughts the lyrics would be normal.**_

* * *

_Okay bro, just chill and play it cool. Maybe they won't even notice me_ Kiba took a big intake of air then casually walked into the supermarket with newfound confidence. He knew Naruto and Shikamaru was there and one of them was bound to ask about Sakura's disappearance if they saw him. But he was in desperate need of groceries now and going home wasn't an option.

Right in front of a nearby vegetable stand he saw Naruto and Shikamaru poking at some leafy greens. Well, it was mostly Naruto. Kiba tried to seem as invisible as possible by looking away and walking fast, but it was useless.

"Yo Kiba!" Naruto hollered, making Kiba cringe.

"Hey Naruto…" Kiba mumbled less enthusiastically. Shikamaru looked at Kiba then nodded as a greeting.

"Uh, you're missing someone" Naruto looked from left to right and up and down from Kiba.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Kiba frowned, and then turned to pick up a red mini basket.

"Sakura you dumbass! She's always with you! Where is she?!"

"We're not connected twins, we are separated sometimes ya know" Kiba growled, and then shot Naruto a glare. He wanted to intimidate Naruto into leaving the subject alone. But he seems he was more oblivious than Kiba would have anticipate.

"Dude, you guys actually _are_ that attached. Anyway, where is she?"

"True" Shikamaru agreed.

Kiba gulped. _Can't say I didn't see this coming. Here goes nothing…_

"Well I've been uh, trying to avoid telling you guys this but…" Kiba faked a moment of sadness. "Oh..._my heart is paralyzed. My head was oversized…_"

"So he notice too" Naruto whispered to Shikamaru, but it was meant to be loud enough for Kiba to hear. Kiba threw an orange at his groin.

"Anyway, it's too hard to process such information as what I got earlier…_I'll take the high road like I should._"

"C'mon Kiba! What happened already?! The suspense is killing me!" Naruto strained voice whined from the floor.

"_She said it's meant to be,_" Kiba said this more to himself. Naruto held in his breath, thinking the worst has happened. Shikamaru simply raised his left eyebrow.

**_FLASHBACK_**

_"Look, it's not that it's not you, it's me too! I'm sorry Kiba, I think we should just see other people. We're too opposite, we immerse ourselves in sex too much because we're holding onto a love that isn't there…"_

_"Woah wait, so basically you're trying to say you're leaving now for my own good? I mean, for our good?"_

_"Yes, basically" Sakura bit her lip then stared up at Kiba, hoping he would understand. Kiba only said the thing that wouldn't tarnish his image. Which lead to him getting brutally slapped._

_"That's cool but if my friends ask where you are I'm gonna say-!"_

_"You are gonna tell them the truth asshole!"_

_"You didn't even know what I was gonna say!"_

_"I can only imagine it was some utterly ridiculous lie!"_

_"Maybe…"_

"No way, she broke up with you! Ha ha!" Naruto snatched up the thrown orange and peeled it with his thumbs. It was pretty soft, like a tangerine. Maybe it is– not the point!

"No!" Kiba snapped, frowning deeply.

"Keep frowning like that and it'll stay there" Naruto said in between bites of his orange…or tangerine.

"Fuck you, anyway, we didn't break up. If you can shut up, then you could know what happened!"

"Even I would like to know by now" Shikamaru buried his hands in his pockets with a bored expression.

"Okay, okay. _She went down in an airplane!_ The airplane ended up dropping in this tanning place and her body just happened to fall in a tanning booth so she got _fried getting suntanned! _Right next to the tanning booth was a tub of cement quicksand, it was a mix up since mud was meant to be there but anyway she _fell in a cement mixture full of quicksand!_"

Shikamaru and Naruto stood in a state of shock.

_Oh Kami, _Help me, help me, I'm no good at goodbyes._ I sounded stupid!_ Kiba squeezed his eyes, ready for his friends to laugh at him and call him out on his lies. But he was surprised to feel a pat on his shoulder.

"Sorry bro" Shikamaru gave Kiba a sad look. Naruto ended up bawling on the floor, shouting, "Sakura-chan!"

"Yeah…I gotta go though, it's not that easy coping with a lost…like that…" Kiba looked at the ground but not before sighing.

"Later" Shikamaru then looked on the floor to where Naruto's body lay. "Get up jackass!"

*•*•

Kiba grinned slightly at how easy it was to get out of that sticky situation. But then a vibrating in his front pocket made his grin fade. He looked at the number, then saw it was from Neji.

**-Neji **

**I need a Karate partner **

Kiba knew that in translation, he actually meant to say he needed a punching bag. He didn't feel like getting multiple of bruises since Neji seems to like getting all the hits while his punching bag must only sheild himself.

**-Kiba**

**Can't, something came up**

Kiba didn't expect to get a reply after, but the vibrating in his pocket told him otherwise.

**-Neji**

**What? **

Since when did Neji cared about what goes on with him?

**-Kiba **

**Sakura sorta…died **

He couldn't think of a better reason to explain why he wanna pass (he could have used the real reason) and his fingers were typing on their own. Kiba just hoped Neji wouldn't reply but luck wasn't on his side.

**-Neji**

**What happened exactly? **

Ice King has no sensitivity nor could take a hint. Kiba could just act like his phone died or fell in the toilet so he wouldn't have to reply. No, then Neji would come over at some point, demanding answers.

**-Kiba**

**_She met a shark underwater_**** and when she tried to get back on land, **

**she ****_fell and no one caught her_**** so the shark ended up eating her alive. ****_I returned everything I ever bought her_**** to pay for the funeral :/**

_Oh_ help me, help me, I'm running out of lies- Kiba thoughts got cut off by a stinging on his cheek. _and_ ways to say she died… Kiba finished irritably, then rubbed his cheek after putting his phone back in his pocket.

"What the hell was that for?!" He screeched, dropping his already forgotten red nasket then glared down at the person. Long blonde hair, fierce blue eyes, hourglass figure.

"Oh look, the top bitch" Kiba growled. He barely acknowledged Hinata who was shyly waving at him from behind Ino.

"That's for thinking it was funny to put peanuts all in my bras! My beautiful skin could have swelled up!" Kiba could merely roll his eyes at the blondes complaint. She had an allergic reaction to peanuts. "And I hope that hurt!"

"Yeah, whatever _my pride still feels the sting._"

"Good" Ino smirked. "So where's forehead? In the hospital or something?"

"I wish," Kiba turned away.

"What-what happened Kiba-san?" Hinata asked with worry.

"Having relationship problems? At some point it gets like that ya know" Ino shrug.

"_You were my everything…_" Kiba barely whispered to the air. He was trying to distract them so he could think of another explanation to their break up. Apparently he forgot the one he told Naruto and Shikamaru. "_Someday I'll find a love like yours…_"

Hinata was filled with worry and anxiety. Ino was equally as concerned. "What happened to Sakura?" They both asked in unison.

"It's too painful, in the heavens _she'll think I'm superman _for always being there but this time I couldn't…" Kiba grinned softly to the ground, then raised his eyes up to Ino and Hinata with a new sparkle to his dark brown orbs. _And _not super mini-van… Kiba felt a slight twitch of his eye as he remembered Sakura complaining about his small, rather shitty ride.

"Kiba-san!" Hinata ran over to Kiba and squeezed him in a hug. Kiba forced tears out of his eyes so he could cry with the girl holding him.

"_How could you leave on Yom Kippur?!_" He cried as he hugged Hinata tighter. Ino joined the hug moment later, bawling like Naruto recently.

"How-how did she died Kiba-kun?" The soft, shaking voice of the Hyuuga asked as she sniffled.

Kiba felt his ear twitch at the loud girlish crying. What did he start? _Sakura is definitely going to have to move to a faraway country or maybe I should move since I know if she hears this, I'm gonna get a bruise! She told me not to do this. But really, _that's cool but if my friends ask where you are I'm gonna say-

"_She was caught in a mudslide_ then got _eaten by a lion_. She tried getting away from the lion but unfortunately _got run over by a crappy purple scion_ on her escape."

"Really?!"

More twitching of the ear.

"I have to go," Kiba forcibly pulled himself from the girls. "I still feel the weight of her death. I need to rest at home. Alone." Kiba put a little hostility in the word. He wanted to make sure they wouldn't come to bring gifts, romantic movies, and buckets of ice cream as if he was gay. He seriously did not need to deal with that.

Help me, help me, _this is the second story._ I'm no good at goodbyes, _they are starting to sound unreal now… _Kiba let loose an irritated sigh.

"Kiba!" Tenten waved at the animal lover from a distance. She was far enough to not hear his groan. He can't keep doing this! He's running out of stories!

"Hi Ten-"

"Where's Sakura?"

Does he really stay with Sakura that much?!

"Dead" Kiba said bluntly, but instantly regretted it. He sounded a bit hostile, he needed to sound depress and pained.

"Oh?! What happened?!" Tenten bit her lip in concern. At least that's what Kiba thought but there was somethinch different in her eyes. Kiba scratched his head then looked away.

"It's kinda embarrassing but…_she dried up in the dessert_ after getting stuck under a rock with some friends. They escape but Sakura was the only one injured but the closest place was an east side night club so that's where they tried to get help. Some jerk thought it'd be funny to surprisingly drop her in the hot tub so she _drowned in a hot tub_. Her last dying wish was to dance since it was her passion so _she danced to death at an east side night club_" Kiba finished but Tenten gave no reply. She suppressed a joyful smile.

"I feel so bad for you. But in case you're…_that_ sad, call me. You know my number" then Tenten winked and walked away. Kiba stood frozen for a few seconds, trying to process what the fuck just happened.

Help me _Kami_, help me _because_ I'm running out of lies and ways to say she died…

Kiba looked at the clear blue sky, trying to forget his encounters with his friends and what Tenten told him that made him feel weird chills. For the first time today, he felt just a bit content staring at the clouds. No wonder Shikamaru lovers this, it's pretty relaxing. But then a turn in his gut reminded him why today was so bad.

He really does miss Sakura. And no matter how corny it sounds or how much it could hurt his masculinity, he actually thought maybe she could have been the one. But apparently she thought otherwise. Not that he could blame her. Maybe he did something wrong or something felt empty. At some point he felt it too.

I wanna live a thousand lives with you _Sakura_…I want to be the one you're dying to Kiba hands slowly balled into fists, but love, you don't want to… Kiba paused for a moment, then took a big gulp of air. That's cool but if my friends ask where you are I'm gonna say-

"KIBA!" Shouted a delicate but raged voice. How could something so small be so violent? Kiba cringed, knowing full well that it was his beloved ex, Sakura. By the tone of her voice, he could tell she knew.

"I come back from California and everywhere I go, people were shocked because _you_ said I supposedly died!" Sakura grabbed Kiba's collar and pushed him against the nearest solid wall. "What did you tell them?" She hissed.

"Okay" Kiba mumbled in defeat. "I told Naruto and Shikamaru that _you went down in an airplane, fried getting suntanned, fell in a cemet mixture full of quicksand_. I texted Neji that _you met a shark underwater, fell and no one caught you_ and that _I returned everything I ever bought you_ to pay for a funeral," Sakura sweat-dropped at that, "I told Ino and Hinata that you _were caught in a mudslide, eaten by a lion, and got run over by a crappy purple scion_. Then I finally told Tenten that _you dried up in the dessert, drowned in a hot tub, and danced to death in an east side night club…_"

Kiba quickly squeeze his eyes close, preparing himself for the sting of Sakura's slap. But instead, he heard tiny giggles. He slowly pops one eye open just to see Sakura using one of her hands to muffle her laughter.

"That is so unbelievable, how could anyone actually fall for any of those!" Sakura giggling turned into stomach-holding laughter. Kiba smiled, enjoying the sight of Sakura laughing her butt off. "But it's still cute in a Kiba sort of way" Sakura laughter settled back down to giggles again. She pecked his lips, making his mind come to a million possibilities. "And it just reminds why I loved you in the first place."

Does this mean he has Sakura back? His Sakura-chan?!

Kiba scooped Sakura up in his arms and planted a big kiss on her lips, making her giggle.

"What's this?"

Kiba looked up, and there were all his friends he lied to, looking pretty pissed. Oh shit.


End file.
